Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
