I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
