At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
