so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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