help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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