I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My dick has a subreddit
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
