Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
