i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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