i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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