This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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