Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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