and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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