I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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