I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
