U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
