at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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