I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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