NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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