You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
