So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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