In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
