Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
