your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
