NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
