You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Non-Jews are for practice
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
