In America we eat man semen.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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