Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she looked like the before picture.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
