Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
