I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
