Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
