Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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