What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Shame - the story of my life.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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