Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
