3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
