so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
