just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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