You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
