Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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