I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
