I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
