YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
