Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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