Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
