im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
