About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I met the friendliest cop last night
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
