Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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