Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
