Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
