Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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