i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
