We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
