i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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