you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
