I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
