He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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