The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
