i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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