you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
