Will you blow on my dice?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
