Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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