Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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