One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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