her vagine was all disorganized.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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