should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
